The Battle for a man's Heart

A man's heart was not made for this sit up straight sit still and shut up society that we have created. Did you know that boy's are 3-4 times more likely to be diagnosed with ADD or ADHD than girl? Is that just a coincidence or is there another reason for things being that way? Eldredge says that we are rewarded in our classrooms growing up for what I like to call 'statue' behavior and that is sad. Boy's are designed for more physical activities which use more muscle movements and in our society they are punished for it. I do though believe in a good education, but why can't we be allowed to fidget in our seat teacher! 

This part may shock you, but in this chapter Eldredge tells us of one incidence where a boy's manhood was actually and physically stripped of him. This case takes place in the 70's where a baby boy who had surgery and the surgeons accidentally removed his penis! That might not be the part that shocked you just wait. After the penis was accidentally removed the doctors had this great plan to give the boy a sex change!!!! I could not believe when I read this part, I was furious and shocked! The doctors simply said what's the difference male or female what's the difference? they are interchangeable they said. This is an extreme example of our society believing that we shape a mans heart and to a point it does, but God had plans for that boy and every boy that is unlike the opposite sex. That boy will never understand what it's like to really be a man now because those people took that away from him. 

The Wound

This is a good chapter in this book and many people can relate to this. Eldredge gives examples of families who's son's grow up wounded. By wounded he means wasn't given direction from one parent or the other. When we are young we need the love and nurturing from our mothers they are kind and gentle to us and make us feel special. He relates the love of a mother as the closest love we can experience to God's love for us. So as we are young growing up we need our mothers tender loving care, but there becomes a point in a man's life where he needs to stop being a boy and become a man and that is where the father takes over.

Our fathers need to take us under their wing when we start boyhood so that we can start our journey to become a man. The father needs to teach us to play catch and throw a curve ball and take us hunting and fishing and possibly teach us a trade like carpentry like Jesus' father did. This is an essential time in a boy's life because he needs to be around men, if he doesn't he will never know what it's like to be a man. The father position doe's not have to be specifically with the biological father says Eldredge, but a boy needs to have some sort of male influence in his life someone to show him the ropes of being a man and receive male "manly" support and gain manly confidence from. Therefore the mother must "let go". Hopefully this will help to better understand the needs of a maturing boy/man's heart.

The Question that Haunts every Man

In this chapter Eldredge finally tells us what our greatest fear is as if we don't already know or never have realized, he says that every mans greatest fear is to be found out. What exactly does he mean "found out"? well he gives us an example of a dream he had where he was on the stage in a full house and didn't know his lines or cues! We all have these dreams where we fear of being found out and discovered we aren't who we really are. Many men put on a facade or a face that isn't who they truly are, but who they want people to think they are because they don't know who they are! For example some men are caught up in sports and they have memorized players and their stats enough to be able to sit there and talk like they know them personally! Another example is men will buy big lifted trucks and get tattoos to make people think they are big and bad, but underneath they are all "girly men" as the Governator put it and many times are more so than your average joe. This is just something to think about... how do we perceive ourselves? how do we act differently? who are we really?

The Image We Bear

In the second chapter we see how the church perceives Jesus and he is the image we bear. Eldredge gives us a few examples of people in the bible whom God has used to fight and as God uses them it may seem like he is taking risks. A few of my favorite examples are of David and how God used him a young shepherd boy and a slingshot to defeat a giant and Sampson whom uses the jaw bone of a donkey to slay one-thousand men! Those are some amazing stories that God has prevailed in. The fighting stories don't sound like a wimpy God that we have been taught to believe in, a God who is like a Mother Theresa or Mr. Rogers the God we serve is powerful and mighty and I believe that is the image of God we need to see if we are going to serve him properly!

Departure

John Eldredge begins off by sharing his experiences while he is in the wild. He tells us he is outdoors and he is trying to track down elk. Eldredge says, "There is something else I am after, out here in the wild. I am searching for an even more elusive prey... something that can only be found through the help of wilderness. I am looking for my heart." What exactly does he mean by saying that our hearts are elusive? Is he trying to say that he lost his heart while walking around in the wild and that it is somewhere running around by its own power and is no where to be found?? I think not! His quote is such a true and genuine thing to say especially today. Where is our masculine hearts?! especially in our churches... He goes on to quote Robert Bly, "Some women want a passive man if they want a man at all; the church wants a tamed man they are called priests; the university wants a domesticated man- they are called tenure-track people; the corporation wants a... sanitized, hairless, shallow man." Where are all the men? I desperately ask again.

I myself grew up with not much direction from my father in what a 'real man' is, but I grew up like most boys playing with (toy) guns even though my parents didn't quite agree. My parents thought it was too destructive and harmful to my mind to play with guns and have play fights growing up, but that is what boys and men long to do. Adventure is the word we are after and what the majority of this book is about the lost adventures of the heart. Eldredge goes on to talk about how in the beginning Adam was formed outside the garden and time and time again biblical men are found wandering the wilderness to try and find themselves. Also it was Eve that was formed in the garden which was plentiful and easy to live in and nothing like the wild where Adam was formed.

As I rap this blog up until next time I want to briefly discuss one of my favorite headers in this first chapter and it is called "A BEAUTY TO RESCUE". Eldredge talks about how men long to literally and figuratively rescue the damsel in distress and how women long to be that damsel. The women want to be pursued or they become bored and deep inside would much rather want to be with the dangerous man than a safe man... That is just something to think about if you are dealing with such times in your life where you are that safe man, all I can say is get out and explore your heart and you may find that your heart has fallen victim to the constraints of society like many other men.

Journey through a Wild Heart

 

As a man my instincts are simple; eat, work, sleep, and dream. We all have dreams that we want to be able to express and do someday with our lives. When I was a boy I wanted to be a Firefighter, a Rock Musician, a Navy Seal, Traveling the world, and go Bear hunting, and the list goes on... A boy's dream is to do something 'wild' and unsafe, but something that is free and exciting. In today's modern society a man is expected to go to college get married before you are 25, have children, be a success in earning money to support the family, and be in a church pew every Sunday. Quite frankly many men have become bored with their city lives and living in a cookie cutter mold, this tames a man and forces them to keep their desires to live the way God intended hidden.

I remember watching a movie called "Braveheart" and if you have not seen this film it is definitely worth your time. In this movie William Wallace a Scottish warrior has experienced death firsthand from his father in a battle and to make a long movie short William Wallace was a real man, starting as a boy he is what I wish I could have been as a boy. Wallace is tough, strong, and has a strong heart and doesn't let fear stop him, but he instead fights for what is right in this case breaking ties from the English and proclaiming freedom! Like William Wallace every boy and or man wants to have freedom. 

In the next few weeks will be reading a book called "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge this book is about what God's plan for a man is and how he created us with a wild heart. We were made to be in the wilderness exploring hunting and seeing God's great creation first hand! Our God is a passionate, strong and loving God and he is no WIMP, but its sad to say even though we were created in his image we have become wimpy. Through this book I hope to discover and share what God's intension was for men and ways to get back to where my heart belongs.